The Waiting Game

Mr. Tiddles loves trolling through psych ward waiting rooms for some fresh victims.  Most of them would gladly come with Mr. Tiddles in order to get away from waiting hours for some quack doctor to look at them.  I will quiet their voices in their head.  I only take the most violent individuals who have hurt or killed others.  They're the ones who need silence.  They will drift off to nothingness.  No more pain for them and the pain they caused others.

One victim asked Mr. Tiddles, "Are you the doctor?"  Mr. Tiddles replied, "I am your personal Grim Reaper! Now tell me your problems that led you to me." 

In a hushed tone he began to reveal his transgressions: "I murdered and raped many women.  The more I tortured and bludgeoned them to death...the voices asked for more and I willingly gave them even more helpless victims." 

Well it's your lucky day...Mr. Tiddles is here to quiet the voices for you!!!

Swiftly a burlap bag was thrown over his head and a rope tied tight around his neck.  He fought back, but      Mr. Tiddles whispered, "This is best for you!"   Quickly, he suffocated...He was dispatched into the beyond...just like he did to his victims.    

Waiting for a doctor can be a killer!!!    

Day of the Turkeys...

Mr. Tiddles' minions will do their damage.  These guys will attack and chew their victims as trained.  Imagine the look on the humans' faces as they witness these turkeys attack and devour their victims.  Hey every holiday the humans eat their turkey comrades...Now it's their turn to have all the fun!!!

Out House = Slay House

Mr. Tiddles happens upon a deserted construction site.  The workers left a porter potty behind.  I will transform this Out House into a Slay House.  Drag my victim from behind the warehouse and pull her into the transformed out house.  Bound and gagged...she sits on the toilet.  She doesn't scream she just stares at me in disbelief that I finally caught her.  She knows what I'm about to do...She has done this a least a dozen times...

Finding and capturing a female serial killer is rare.  Mr. Tiddles has a sixth sense when it comes to these things.  I can spot them in a crowd.  They give off these tell-tale signs.  This one did not learn to shut these signs off in public.   I'm teaching Goatboy this trick.  As usual Goatboy is late...this is his kill.  I will not kill in his presence.  However, I can't wait forever for him to return from dumping this little serial killer's vehicle.  She was driving an Old Dodge Pinto.  This vehicle is a death trap and she drove it with pride.  She stood out in the public eye (a mistake on her part).   Who the hell still drives a brown Dodge Pinto?

Well Mr. Tiddles can't wait forever for Goatboy.  I will just tell him that she joined our group and I let her go...and she will now kill for us.  Her long blond hair is matted against the dirty slay house.  I pick her up off the toilet and yank her head down towards the toilet hole and stuff her in it.  She begins swallowing brown toilet water and choking on used toilet paper.  Hey these things are not known for being clean and sanitary .  She is gasping for air and she swallows more thick brown water.  She is turning blue and suffocating.  I watch her eyes roll back into her head.  Her life force turns off. 

Mr. Tiddles pulls out a machete and begins chopping her into pieces and stuffs her into the hole.  She will mix with the shit and piss.  Blood is splattered everywhere.  The workers will think someone dumped dark red paint all over the place.  Imagine the smell in a few days...the construction workers will think that someone ate bad food from a local convenience store.  

Mr. Tiddles still has time to burn his dirty bloody clothes before Goatboy returns...

Self-Induced Prison

Being a serial killer is a lonely existence.  Goatboy is just a pawn in my master plan.   He is not a true friend.  I cannot reveal my true nature and thoughts to him.  If he gets caught the buffoon would rat Mr. Tiddles out in a second.   Mr. Tiddles does not take a victim's life in Goatboy's presence.  I just instruct him to do my bidding and kill for me.  He will learn from his mistakes and in turn he will become a killing machine like myself. 

Mr. Tiddles has made his own self-induced prison in his head.  I cannot and will not trip-up like the rest of the serial killers on this Earth and be caught.  Goatboy would be sacrificed first. 

For now I need him.  Nothing like a raw and eager student that learns to be a ruthless killer and then is released on society. 

This is just another gift that Mr. Tiddles has bestowed on the human race.

Mr. Tiddles and Goatboy both working their magic...the human race will be decreasing in size!!!

Firebugs

Pyromania is an impulse to deliberately start fires to relieve tension and typically includes feelings of gratification or relief afterward.

Mr. Tiddles caught this person starting fires.  I will teach him a lesson he will not soon forget.  He wants to play with fire.   I will stop his impulse to deliberately start fires and if he dies in the process...so be it!!!

Gasoline fumes permeates the room of this abandoned cabin up in the deep woods of this far away place.         Mr. Tiddles lured this pyromaniac with the promise of booze and wild ladies.  All he is getting is being drugged and tied to a chair.  Gas fumes fills his lungs.  He will suffer just as he made others suffer in his lifetime.  No one has ever caught him and made him pay for his deeds, but Mr. Tiddles will!!!

Douse him, his clothes, and the cabin with enough petrol to light up the dark night sky.  Don't worry after he burns to a crisp.  Mr. Tiddles has the right tools and knowledge to put out this nasty fire before any wildlife gets hurt.  The gasping and choking sounds he is making when swallowing the petrol is priceless. 

As he's burning...Mr. Tiddles menacingly laughs and asks, "Got a light???"

Cooling Off

Lay a body onto the cold morgue tray. Your skin grows colder by the second as you begin to stick to the tray.  A low humming sound surrounds you.  This is the cooling unit working overtime to keep your body cold and fresh.  A smelly dead body is not appetizing to another person's nose.  Ever smell a body that's been rotting in a forgotten neighbor's apartment for weeks or months.  I think Mrs. Jones' dead or she's cooking some weird shit on the stove. 

Mr. Tiddles likes to find abandoned hospital morgues to stick a victim inside for safe keeping.  Sometimes, I return a few days later and the cooling unit wasn't working and my victim is slightly decomposing.  Since the body is on its way...Mr. Tiddles closes the door and allows the body to decay even more.  I love to watch the maggots eat away at the flesh!!!

Someday everyone will be in this same position: On your back lying on a morgue tray. 

So don't be claustrophobic!!!

My Apprentice

Goats: (Capra hircus) Homo sapiens

Mr. Tiddles  would like to introduce another serial killer, Goatboy, to the world.    

Mr. Tiddles found him wandering the Earth.  He seemed like an excellent fledging student in the Dark Art of Killing.   

Mr. Tiddles will teach him the proper way of eradicating the waste of this planet (i.e. humans). 

Government Shutdown

The U.S. Government is about to shutdown this week.  Hey it's about time.  This Empire cannot last forever.  There will be blood in the streets.  Riots and Chaos will reign throughout their country. 

This  government will be too busy calming the public to notice Mr. Tiddles carving and hacking his way through the population. 

So shut down everything...

U.S. Post Offices-No more bills sent to the public or junk mail for that matter.

All Federal Government Offices-CLOSED: No more pointless bureaucracy.

This will be a new Utopia...

Shut it all down...Let's go back to the hunting and gathering stage of MAN. 

Mr. Tiddles would gladly do the hunting ...

Murder Among the Daffodils

Dragging a body through the daffodils.   This one was a bleeder!!!  His blood sprayed all over the place.  He was watering the flowers with his sticky blood.  If you ask me this victim was a bit Daffy!!! 

Mr. Tiddles needed to end his life before he created anymore chaos.  Daffy would scour local pubs for ladies and take them back to his place for a poke and then a choke.  He would choke the life out of these hapless vixens.  Daffy was not noble nor grand.  He needed to be stopped dead in his tracks.  One nasty stab in the jugular began the spraying of his blood.   The flowers needed their nutriments.  At least his final act on Earth was useful...  

All Narcissus varieties (i.e. daffodils) contain the alkaloid poison lycorine, mostly in the bulb but also in the leaves.

On 1 May 2009, a number of hikers fell ill at Gorseland Forest in Martlesham Heath, England after adding a daffodil bulb to soup during a cookery outing. The bulbs could often be confused with onions, thereby leading to incidents of accidental poisoning.